3 Things to Stop and Start Now for Work Life Balance
Have you ever tried to walk balancing books on your head? Ever tried riding a unicycle or walking a tight-rope?
I’ve tried one out of those three and let me tell you whilst it’s fun to try to master, living life perpetually balancing is not sustainable. Sometimes you need to relax, rest and just lie down and when you’re learning to balance there’s a hell of a lot of falling over and dropping things that happens along the way.
We balance for moments at a time. Then stop.
What you learn on the way is how to build strength in your core, get some tools and training to help you and how to get up and try again.
So for me the idea that we should be achieving work life balance is a fantasy.
What do we really mean by that phrase? My clients want to be able to love and enjoy their work, their family and friends, and their hobbies and to get to spend time with all of them without feeling guilty, overwhelmed, unfulfilled, compromised or any other uncomfortable feelings they would rather avoid.
So here are 3 top tips on what to Stop and what to Start to achieve ‘Work Life Balance’.
STOP TRYING to balance work and life. Balancing is awkward. It takes a lot of concentration and lasts for short periods of time. Even the amazing unicyclist has to come off at some point or the tight rope walker or book balancer. None of that is a sustainable life practice, it’s a temporary act. So Stop It. Stop the myth that there is some everlasting balance to be found and you will experience sweet relief.
STOP TALKING about work and life as if they are two different things. Your life is your life full stop. Sometimes you are working for your employer or your business or your clients and sometimes you’re not. You’re always living though. Try thinking about life and how you want to feel as you live it. Do you want to seek joy or fulfilment, happiness or satisfaction, creativity or production, community or solace? What’s the driving emotion that you want to weave throughout your life. Pick what feels good and seek that whether you are working or playing.
STOP EXPECTING to reach a point where you’ve solved it. If you are still living then you are on a perpetual journey of evolution and discovery. There is no it and there is no there, there’s always right here and right now. You’re never going to get there and you’re never going to be done until you are truly done. Until then, it just keeps unfolding, the Earth keeps turning, the seasons come and go and life keeps happening. You always get to decide how to meet it at every step.
Once you’ve STOPPED trying to balance, STOPPED seeing life and work as separate things and STOPPED expecting to reach nirvana, you can START enjoying the see-saw of the life you are living, START seeking joy and fulfilment and START appreciating the journey whatever it brings.
What we appreciate grows.
Balance is only illusory and temporary. Even the best moments past. Once you focus on the feelings you want to generate rather than time you are spending on different things you can start to create a blend of life where you create that feeling in everything you do whenever you want and achieve the internal harmony that you are really seeking. That may end up looking like working less hours or creating more intentional time spent with loved ones. The balance isn’t to be found in what you do or when, but how you feel when you’re doing it.